Boys to Men….. What are you raising?

I have been thinking about this blog for quite a while now.  I remember when I first got married, and although I love my husband to greatness, I would get so mad at him and his parents because some of the things he expected or the “DREAM” the “Fantasy” that he had made up in his mind about who I was supposed to be as his wife.  I remember thinking to myself, “well honey if you want all that, then I will need you to ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ  and I need you to 123!!! HAHAHAHAHA We have now been married 8 1/2 years so I can’t remember any real gripes because he is very helpful now. I say all this to say, as a mother of 2 princes, I am conscience of their wives.  True they are only 4 and 6 but if not now, then where do GentleMEN begin?

I sure do wish I had my examples, but I would get so mad at Isaac’s mom, thinking “you didn’t teach him this that or this?”  It’s funny how we never get mad at the father, but with that in mind, it made me aware of who this will fall on. If a child is acting up in school, we never say “where is his/her dad” we ALWAYS say, “who is that childs mother?”  As a mother of boys I want to make sure when our boys get married, Lord willing, they will be the most helpful GentleMEN to their wives.  It makes life easier for me and their wives will be thanking my husband and I rather than looking at us with the side eye. LOL

I grew up in a house full of women so I am learning that boys will be boys, but they are learning that their is a time to play and a time for responsibility.  If your responsibilities are complete, then have at it and go play… but HANDLE BUSINESS!   As parents we have to take the time and TEACH. We cannot just say, go clean your room, expect it to get cleaned to “your” standard but you haven’t taught them how to clean.  O… and news flash… Teaching is SOOOO repetitious!  Every morning my boys get up and the first thing that comes out of my mouth is “Did you make up your bed? Did you brush your teeth?”  Sometimes they try and ask me for the Ipad or breakfast before those two jobs are complete and I have to break it to them, “If you don’t do what I ask, I can’t do what you ask.”  And don’t let me begin with the enabling we parents love to do with our children.  We LOVE to say… “Awwww, they are just kids.”  If you are one of those parents, you are an enabler.  Kids NEED responsibility, kids need structure.  If you take the time to teach them, then they will do it.

We run our household as a team.  I let the boys know that with every age they gain, there is more responsibility.  At 4 and 6 they make up their beds, clean their bedroom that includes keeping their shoes paired and neat in the closet, they have to clean their playroom to my standard, which they know by now because of working side by side with me on it over and over. They take out the trash, when it’s time for laundry they separate the clothes into dark, whites and light colors (which they do an amazing job) and when they gripe about that I tell them they will be sitting next to me folding all of the clothes because laundry seems to be NEVER ending and they stop complaining right then… lololol They already know how to fold clothes because we have sat and done pants, shirts and shorts all individually.  They know how to dress themselves and when clothes are dirty they know to throw them in the hamper because they don’t belong on the floor, when pj’s are taken off they know to fold them and put them in the proper drawer.  Are all these responsibilities done perfectly? Absolutely NOT, they are 4 and 6, but the point is they are being trained to be helpful. They are learning responsibility.   Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Great servers/helpers become great leaders.  How can you become a great leader if you have never been required to do anything? Why would anyone want to follow you? There are a lot of boys that want to be the head of their home but don’t want to LEAD.  Man parts don’t make boys MAN UP, taking care of responsibilities and always having a teaching mindset do. The responsibility is high in being a man.  I hope we as parents are serving, teaching and leading our boys into becoming great leading men.  I thank God that our boys have a God fearing man that they adore.

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